


i dreamt i held you, in my arms

by hereforthehurts



Series: The Mom Eda fic masterlist [7]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Beta Concept Art Luz Noceda, Beta toh, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Fever Dreams, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mom Eda, Mom Eda Clawthorne, Sick Luz, Sickfic, Songfic, Whump, emeto, slight emeto warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28789221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthehurts/pseuds/hereforthehurts
Summary: Being sick was fucking miserable - and it doesn't help when the promises she made haunts her in her sleep, eating her alive.Yet Luz still stays in the dark. She doesn't know to get herself out of it.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda
Series: The Mom Eda fic masterlist [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013046
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	i dreamt i held you, in my arms

**Author's Note:**

> it's official; beta aged-up, tough emo Luz and Mom Eda dynamics has my whole heart.
> 
> Edit: ALSO I've always imagined that Beta Luz is just older can Luz in the future with completely different personalities (or at least some of it) than canon younger Luz. She's Seen Things, has trauma/ptsd, and generally darker than original canon toh because I'd go absolutely unhinged for darker fics where i can freely whump the hell out of them lmao. Enjoy the fic!!

Being sick was fucking miserable.  
  
  
Luz had known this, of course—she had known what she signed up for after being sleep deprived and running on nothing but coffee for almost a whole week. Hexside exams were hell, and with little side quests of trying to defeat a whole ass corrupt emperor and his system, sleep isn’t the kind of things she had the time for anymore.  
  
Still, she tries to gather the very last bits of sanity she has and tries to piece the mess of a puzzle in front of her together again.  
  
  
Nothing was clicking. Her brain felt like it was running on a slug’s pace.

  
_Try again tomorrow,_ her body begs her. Tears were pricking on the corner of her eyes. Her head throbs harder.  
  
_Fine._  
  
Luz groans as she finally lets herself fall back into her bed. Her stomach growls for food and her throat aches for water, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up and get it. _At least_ , she thinks, _the cold sheets were comforting._ The rain patters against her window pane, and she tries to let her body fall asleep.  
  
  
She couldn’t.  
  
  
  
  
  
The rain keeps on falling, and so does the world around her.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
When she wakes up the next morning, sunlight pricks on the corner of her eyes. Her face was hot, but the rest of her body was shivering. Luz doesn’t know how that was even possible.  
  
  
_Fuck._  
  
  
Her throat felt like sandpaper, begging for water again, but the hunger had disappeared overnight. _Great._ She sluggishly tries to get out of her covers and stood up, only for her legs to buckle as her head spins. Nausea crawls up her throat.  
  
_Fuck. Fuck._  
  
  
But she steps on forward anyway, just like she always have.  
  
  
The walk towards the kitchen felt like forever.  
  
  
When Luz does arrive, her whole body crumbles down like a puppet cut off its string—she falls near the kitchen, holding onto the counter for her life. It felt like someone was hammering a nail to the side of her head. Before she knows it, she was retching into the sink, her throat burning with each one. Nothing comes out of her.  
  
  
“Luz!”  
  
She turns her head around towards the voice abruptly and regrets it almost immediately, groaning painfully. “Whu…”  
  
“Are you okay?” a few little steps, then a small hand placed on the back of her thigh. “You’re… you’re sick.”  
  
_Yeah no shit, King,_ she wanted to say, but what came out instead was a breathless whisper, “Get me a glass, please.”  
  
King nods without questions. Her hand trembles when she receives the glass from him, downing the water to soothe her throat. It doesn’t.  
  
“You’re sick, Luz,” King repeats, now even more worried than he had been. “You should—”  
  
“Don’t,” she interrupts with what little voice she had left. “Don’t—don’t tell her.”  
  
“Why? You—”  
  
“Please,” she begs.  
  
King shuts up at that.  
  
“Give me that,” he says instead, softer now, taking away the half-empty glass from her trembling hands. Luz silently thanks him.  
  
“I’ll just go to bed,” she rasps. “I’ll be fine.”  
  
“You better be. You promised Eda you won’t keep things from her anymore.”  
  
_She knows. She knows._  
  
“I’ll be fine.” she repeats, trying to convince herself. "I'll be fine."  
  
King leads her to her bed, and she falls asleep within a couple of seconds.  
  
  
  
The promises she made eats alive her in her dreams.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
“Fucking hell, kid.”  
  
  
A cold hand presses against her hot forehead. Luz whines.  
  
  
“You fucking _promised_ me.”  
  
  
She isn’t sure if this was a dream or not. But Eda’s voice echoes in her head, hurt and angry and hopeless, she sits up almost immediately. Bad move. Her head throbs along with her unnaturally fast heartbeat. “Eda—”  
  
Luz chokes down a sob when the woman’s hand leaves her. She watches her walk away, out of her room, and King stands on the brink of the door, his face a mix of guilt and fear.  
  
“You promised,” Luz tries to scream. Her lips felt like it was being ripped apart. “You promised me you wouldn’t tell!”  
  
“I’m sorry, Luz.” A timid whisper of apology, and then he walks out the door and leaves her too.  
  
  
  
Just like how everyone does.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Eda was chained on the wall in front of her, eyes shut, unmoving. The room they were in was dimly lit with pitch dark corners, but she could clearly see the monstrous figure standing behind of the woman, yellow eyes glowing in contrast to the dark.  
  
  
There’s a massive, steel sharp blade on his hand, gleaming in the darkness.  
  
  
Luz feels her gut wrench.  
  
“Eda,” She yells. “EDA!” she wanted to grab her and take her away, but there were chains on her wrists too, keeping her in place. She watches as Belos slowly raises the blade over her. There’s searing pain on her wrists as she tries to break away from the chains. “EDA! EDA NO!”  
  
Crimson blood pools on the cold, stone floor. Eda falls against it like a lifeless straw doll.  
  
Luz keeps on screaming her name.  
  


  
  
  
She opens her eyes again; it was dark. Her mind jumps to Eda and Eda only, desperately trying to get on to her feet and run to find her, _find her,_ she doesn’t want her gone, not Eda, not the only person she has left, _please_ —  
  
  
Her feet took her as far out the door before they completely buckled, tired and weak and aching. Her head pounds and her stomach burns—the image of Eda falling limp into the pool of her own blood replays in her head, and her stomach empties itself out on the floor.  
  
She still yells for Eda despite the raw pain in her throat. Not much came up, just bile and water—yet she still kept retching and gagging, willing for the image to go away from her head. Begging for this to stop. _It hurts. It hurts._  
  
  
  
A pair of arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her up.  
  
  
Luz sobs, tears dripping down into the mess on the floor. _Eda. Eda. Eda. Eda.  
  
_“I’m here, kid. Shhh, shhh—I’m right here. I’m right here. You’re alright.” Deft fingers combs along the mess of her hair, soothing her. “You’re going to be alright. I’m here. I’ve got you.”  
  
_Eda,_ her insides screams. _Eda. Eda. Eda. Don’t leave me._ She doesn’t realize she’s mumbling the words out, delirious with fever. _  
  
_“I’m not, I’m not,” Eda replies to her. “I’m not, Luz. I’m so sorry. I’m here, now, let’s get you—”  
  
“No,” she sobs again, fingers grasping on the fabric of her shirt as tight as she could. “No, _no—”  
  
_“Hey. _Hey._ Breathe for me, love. Breathe,” The woman held her chin gently as she chokes on breaths. “I’ve got you. It’s okay.”  
  
  
  
  
Luz believes her.  
  
  
  
Eda tries to help the younger girl up before quickly realizing that she had little to no strength left to hold herself up. She carries her in her arms instead, bringing her closer to her chest as she grabs on anything Luz could grasp on, desperately trying to keep her close.  
  
  
  
_I shouldn’t have done that,_ Eda scolds herself. _I shouldn’t have left her like that.  
  
_Guilt gnaws on her chest.  
  
  
  
  
Luz doesn’t let her go, even after she sets the girl down on her bed. Eda reaches for the washcloth in the basin on the side of her bed, wringing the water out before pressing it on her burning forehead.  
  
  
(Eda doesn’t tell her that she came into her room while she slept, made her drink some water, monitors her temperature, makes sure she was okay. She doesn’t tell that she’ll love the girl no matter what happens.)  
  
  
  
(She should have.)  
  
  
  
  
  
Luz whines and starts mumbling again. Something that sounded like her name. Something that sounded like _don’t go, don’t leave._ Something that sounded like… _mom_.  
  
_Don’t go, mom. Don’t leave me._  
  
  
  
“I’m so sorry, love. I won’t,” Eda chokes on her own words. Her fingers ran along the girl’s messy, dark hair, combing it gently. “I won’t, Luz. Mom’s here.”  
  
  
Luz’s mumbling subsides as she pressed her forehead on her chest. Her fingers still held onto her shirt.  
  
  
  
Eda lets her. She holds her like she was her own daughter, the little girl she never had.  
  
  
(But she _does_ have her, now—Luz, the only thing that really mattered in the wreck of her life. She held the girl closer in her arms and makes sure that she’ll tell her that once she wakes up.)  
  
  
  
And in the midst of it all, Eda began humming.  
  
_  
__… you are my sunshine, my only sunshine,  
__  
  
_A song she had always sung only to herself, until Luz came to her life—  
_  
  
  
you make me happy, when skies are gray,  
  
  
  
—_a melody that’s ingrained into her memory, an old Boiling Isles lullaby that’s been forgotten as time goes by. She sings the last verse over and over to make sure Luz knows that she meant every word of it.  
  
  
  
_you’ll never know dear, how much I love you  
  
  
  
please don’t take my sunshine away._  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr blog!!](https://hereforthehurts.tumblr.com/)


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